If that was your dad, he is hot
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
