DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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