This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
