I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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