The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
