if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
