I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
