we're chasing vodka with high fives
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
