i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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