i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
