My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
