Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize