It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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