Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
