is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
