at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
