Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
