Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
