and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
