she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
