her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
