what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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