We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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