Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
