so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
