I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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