I'm jealous of your bromance
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
