i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
