hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
