Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
