Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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