the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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