I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
