yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
