The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
