We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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