My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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