Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
