Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
