Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
