She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
