We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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