i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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