I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
