I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we're making bets on your personal life
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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