i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize