Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize