yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
