It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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