i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
