using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
