I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
