A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
