Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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