I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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