Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
