This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
