Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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