My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
