If i come over, it means nothing
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
