Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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