I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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