***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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