Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
