Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
