dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize