No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
