If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
