piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
