GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
