Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
