okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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