Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
