great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
