dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
this hospital has no fireball
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
