He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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