he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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