It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize