Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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